Category: Uncategorized

Sexy Jews

No, that’s not an oxymoron.  That’s a fact.

Tel Aviv is filled with a whole lot of sexy Jews.  Sexy men and sexy women.  Gay and straight and lesbian and bi.  Toned muscle, pecs, six-pacs.  Joggers, yogis, boxers, dancers, volleyball players.  Shirtless, sweating, smiling, swimming, sunbathing.  Hot. As. F*ck.

Many of them wear Star of David necklaces or sometimes yarmulkes.  And they speak the language of the Torah as their bodies gleam effortlessly in the sun.

It is a true paradise.

In the U.S., Jews are often portrayed on TV and in films as sex-less geeks.  Men are often portrayed as effeminate and too “bookish” to be sexy (think Ross on Friends) and women are often portrayed as overbearing and unbearable (think Fran on The Nanny).  We are good at being lawyers, doctors, professors- but we almost never thought of as sex symbols.  And even if there are Jewish sex symbols, such as Zac Efron, they are almost never talked about in connection with their Judaism.

That’s not because American Jews aren’t sexy- there are a lot who are!  It’s because the society we live in has told us we’re not and I think we’ve internalized it to a degree, as can be seen in items like the semi-satirical “Nice Jewish Guys” calendar.

Here, that doesn’t exist because we built this society.  The other day, I went to a gay beach in Tel Aviv.  So in other words, other than a few tourists, a gay Jewish beach.  The world’s only gay Jewish beach.  And it was amazing.  Besides the loads of hot guys, I just felt like I could be myself.  I didn’t feel self-conscious speaking Hebrew among gay people or speaking Yiddish to my Israeli friend who came along.  And I didn’t feel self-conscious about looking at the hot guys in a Jewish environment.

Since arriving 3 weeks ago, I’ve been to a gay rights rally, visited a gay art exhibition (including the cover photo for this blog), made friends with a lesbian rabbi, participated in an Orthodox LGBT Torah study group, started living with a lesbian couple, and so much more.  I can’t even think of them as separate items anymore because I don’t have to go out of my way to do them- they are just a part of my life.  As they should be.

For most of my life, my Judaism and my sexuality have felt like two separate worlds.  Identities that aren’t supposed to touch.  Here, in Tel Aviv, they are so intertwined that it finally feels natural.

I’m gay, I’m Jewish, and I’m sexy.  Wanna go for a jog?

 

A hopeful story from the Middle East

In case you haven’t been reading the news (don’t worry if that’s the case- I don’t read it either), the Middle East is heating up this summer, and I’m not just talking about the day it was 103 degrees on the heat index last week.

There are tensions on the Syria-Israel border (in addition to the whole civil war there).  There are also tensions on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem- the place where the Jewish temples of old stood and where the Al-Aqsa Mosque currently stands atop the Western Wall.  If you don’t know what those are- don’t worry.  The point is they’re all Jewish and Islamic holy sites.  Two Israeli Druze policemen were killed by Palestinian terrorists on the Temple Mount and other Palestinian terrorists murdered a family having Shabbat dinner in the West Bank.  Meanwhile, Palestinians are protesting the addition of metal detectors on the site of the first terrorist attack.  I honestly haven’t read enough to know the details, but needless to say, there are probably provocative politicians on all sides who’d like to take advantage of this moment to escalate things.

So the only thing that really matters from that whole paragraph for the purpose of this blog is: shit is intense here.  I am living in a powder keg.  A powder keg I love and is full of beauty.  And also lots of problems.  Good thing I found a new friend in my building today who was hula hooping outside at 3 in the afternoon to hip hop music, because I gladly joined him for a little break from the heaviness.

In the midst of this chaos, there is also hope and it’s the kind of good stuff you will never, and I repeat never, see in any newspaper- not in Israel and most certainly not abroad.  The thing you have to experience here.

The other day, I had a cab driver named Samir.  Samir is a clearly Arab name so as I like to do, I spoke with him in Arabic.  Turns out he’s Bedouin and from Haifa, which is quite interesting because most Bedouin live in the Negev Desert down south, a testament to their nomadic desert roots.  Turns out, he’s married to a Kavkazi Jewish woman who converted to Islam in order for them to be married.  In Israel, all marriage is through religious channels, so if you want an interfaith marriage, you have to go to Cyprus to get a civil marriage and come back.  We’ll save more details for a future blog.  He and his wife are raising their kids Muslim but they speak Hebrew at home and are sending their kids to a Jewish school (they could have opted for an Arabic-language school instead).  In addition, the kids are currently quadrilingual and are in elementary school.  They speak Hebrew, Arabic, Kavkazi (a Jewish language related to Persian), and Azerbaijani.  They will also learn English in school, making them quintilingual by middle school.

We talked about the immense cultural and religious diversity his children will experience.  He said he wants them to know about Judaism and Islam and other cultures and religions.  I told him how in the U.S., people of all different backgrounds study, play, and grow up together.  It was an amazing, complex, and beautiful bit of gray space in a land where all too often things seem black and white.

I’d like to encourage you to spend a little less time on NewYorkTimes.com or Haaretz and a little more time getting to know real people.  People in your neighborhood, people around the world.  If you have the chance to come here (or already live here), let’s explore together.  If you’re in another city, get to know your neighbors.  It is good to be well-read and it is also not the only way to be well-informed.  Step outside your comfort zone, embrace your humanity, and we’ll see our way out of this crisis.  Or at least get a well-deserved break in an oasis of peace.  One conversation at a time.

A 10 minute walk to Yafo

I live a ten minute walk from Yafo (also called Yaffa in Arabic and Jaffa in English).  It is a town that has been inhabited since about 7500 BCE.  Take a moment to digest that, because I sure am.

Yafo is on the water- there is a beautiful beach.  And I now am blessed with the ability, when I’m feeling stressed or want to chill out, to walk half a mile and gaze at the Mediterranean Sea.

I’ve always wanted to live by the beach and I’m now living that dream.

I wasn’t sure what to do tonight, but a friend had mentioned there was a free festival in Yafo.  She wasn’t able to come in the end, but since it was so close, I made the walk anyways.

Along the way, I saw a boxing gym- I’m considering taking up the sport so I took down the information.  As with almost all doors in Israel (I’m still getting used to this, it’s pretty cool!), there was a mezuzah.  And inside were some sweaty (and ripped) people boxing.  Looked like fun.

I continued along the way until I got to a 15th century mosque that was broadcasting Islamic chanting.  It had an eerie and beautiful green light and I just stood, closed my eyes, and soaked in the chanting.  What a beautiful moment.

I made my way along the old brick streets until I came across a whole series of bustling outdoor cafes.  One of them had a man singing Greek music, so I stopped for a while and just listened.

Then I saw the most delicious-looking gelato place.  I went inside and there were all sorts of decadent flavors.  What most stunned me, as an American with many Indian friends, was to find KULFI gelato!  Not something you’d expect from a beachfront Mediterranean town.  I ate it and it was goooood.

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Post-gelato coma, I walked towards the beach.  I passed a Georgian Jewish restaurant and then came upon a beautiful promenade.  I saw a Muslim family (they were speaking Arabic and the woman was wearing a hijab- Yafo is a very diverse town of Muslims, Jews, and Christians).  I just approached them in Arabic and started asking about this beautiful town.

Turns out the father owns a grocery store.  The daughter speaks English, French, Arabic, and Hebrew- because she studies in ALL FOUR LANGUAGES at a Catholic private school with Jews, Muslims, and Christians.  Please, American friends, re-read how many languages she studies in.  Because I spoke with her in all of them and she really does speak them all.

Her family told me Yafo is known for its hummus (which they insisted was superior to Jerusalem hummus) and its seafood.  That, in their opinion, the three religious groups all got along well.  They even told me about how they make the hajj (the Muslim pilgrimage to Mecca)- apparently there is a special treaty that allows Israeli Arabs to go to Jordan, get a special travel document, and then enter Saudi Arabia (which does not have official relations with Israel).

They were a truly friendly and approachable family and I love getting the chance to practice my Arabic and learn about my new home.  This will probably be worth many more blogs (people write books about it and only scratch the surface), but I do feel a special obligation to learn more about Arab culture here.  It is becoming more clear to me as the jet lag fades and reality sets in that I am not only a Jew coming to join the Jewish people here.  I am now also an Israeli- and not all Israelis are Jewish.  Just as I remember what it felt like to be a minority in the United States, I want to make a special effort to reach out to Arabs here because they are also a part of this society.  And they have their own unique culture, history, and identity which I want to better understand.

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After talking to the Arab family, I headed up to the festival.  In front of a historic Crusader church, there were parties, live music, and people from all over the world.  The Maccabiah Games were in town, which meant Jewish athletes from all over the world were in Yafo celebrating.  I met Germans, Russians, Canadians- I saw people from Uruguay, Argentina, France.  I spoke a million different languages- and heard a million more spoken.

As I walked home after this fun-filled multicultural evening, I stood in awe.  I come from one of the most diverse and international cities on the planet, Washington, D.C.  And I had to say that just taking a 10 minute walk from my apartment, I felt right at home.  Yafo is a vibrant, ethnically diverse, 10,000 year old city.  It’s right at my doorstep.  After the boxing studio, next to the Indian gelato stand, right above the sea.